


Impostor Syndrome

by doodlebug_nimbus



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Drama, Gen, Implied/Referenced Human Experimentation, Kingdom Hearts I Centric, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Self-Doubt, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlebug_nimbus/pseuds/doodlebug_nimbus
Summary: Aerith's already having a difficult time adapting to this new world. She's been stripped from her home, her friends have disappeared, and she's terrible at being a Keyblade wielder.And now there's a lookalike running around in Traverse Town. Worse yet, she claims she's the real one...
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Impostor Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually an experimental scene for a longfic i'm planning, where the main idea is this: aerith is sora, tifa is kairi, and cloud is riku. there are only final fantasy + disney characters in this au. the KH versions still exist in this au, but there's a new conflict arising from the fact that there's the au versions that live on destiny island. it's touched a little in this one shot, but i'm going to expand it into a subplot in the longfic on how the two types came to exist, why + how, and what exactly is going on with the fact there's adult versions of the au kids/teens.
> 
> enjoy, and let me know what you think about this - general - au idea!

_Why does she have my face?_

Aerith was already beyond disoriented, still refusing that this world was anything more than an impossible dream—or an impossible nightmare. Talking animals, the “Heartless”, whatever that meant, her friends being taken away from her—Tifa and Cloud especially—and this Keyblade thingy that she was mildly afraid of thanks to her already causing a couple of accidents with it…It was all too much to process at once. She doubted she’d be able to process anything even if she tried to take one concept at a time… 

So how was she supposed to process the fact that there was a lookalike apparently in this world—who was also convinced that she was the real one?

Donald was the first to acknowledge her. They hadn’t realized it until they reached Traverse Town, where her clone wasn’t particularly far from the entrance. Like she had been waiting for them.

The three of them came to a halt, and neither Goofy nor Donald could provide her an answer as to what she was seeing or why she was even seeing her in the first place.

A discomforting strangeness brewed within her as she mulled over the implications. None of them seemed to be good for her. If she was the fake one, then that meant everything she ever knew was merely an elaborate fabrication, and her existence was only for some sort of ulterior motive she had forgotten for whatever reason. It would mean she wasn’t really a person—only a cruel mockery of one. Her friends weren’t real, her mother wasn’t real, Destiny Islands was either a hallucination or a front for something else. Why would she even be made in the first place? Who would make her, and how?

If she was the real one, then that meant there was someone out there who was cloning her—and potentially the others—for some unknown purpose. The mysteriousness of this cloning was sinister by itself, nevermind what reasons an individual could have for generating so many clones. There really weren’t any positive reasons one would produce a clone army. And once again, how was she cloned? Did someone have a sample of her DNA? But how’d they get that in the first place? Were there clones of her friends? What if those clones recognized her…?

She shook her head. She needed to get to the bottom of this, so she went straight to her replica. 

Her first instinct was to go on the defensive. “Who the heck are you? Why do you look like me?” She jabbed the tip of her Keyblade at the air in front of her clone, growing curious at the sight of her eyes widening. She seemed to be interested in what she was holding. Which made her more worried.

Both Goofy and Donald glanced at her, as visibly confused as she felt.

“I was going to ask you that,” her “clone” said, a scowl forming on her face.

Aerith’s heart wrenched; surely she wasn’t the fake one—right? Even though she didn’t have any evidence to prove the contrary, she didn’t want to believe in the chances. She simply couldn’t accept that reality. Because if she was the clone, that meant her entire life was a lie, everything that she knew, everyone that she cared about, they were all only there to deceive her into thinking she was a normal human being. They never cared about her, they were only there to fulfill the deception. To keep her naive and ignorant until her creator needed her, like she was some sort of sleeper agent. And then she—no, no, no—don’t think like that…There had to be a proper explanation for this. Even if there wasn’t a good explanation of everything else she was already subjected to. There had to be something that kept her identity true.

“What are you doing with my face?” Her clone pressed on, sowing more doubts in her mind. “Why do you get to have the Keyblade? Not everyone can hold it, you know…I bet you don’t even deserve it.”

“Huh?” _Why does she know more than me? What’s she even saying about the Keyblade?_ “ _Your_ face? You’re wearing mine, you creep. Stop pretending that you’re me and…and explain yourself!”

Her allies kept helplessly looking back and forth between the two of them, which only added to her despair. Even they didn’t know what was going on?

Her clone put her hands on her hips. “I shouldn’t have to explain myself. I know for a fact that I’m the real one.”

“If you’re real, then how come I never saw you back home? Why are you only here?” She smiled smugly, thinking she had won the argument. But in the corner of her eyes, she saw Donald frowning at her.

In a careful voice, he said, “Er…Aerith…It’s hard to believe, I know, but this world is just as real as the one you used to be in.” Goofy nodded in agreement. “Someone bein’ from here doesn’t make them any less of a person—”

“Aerith? Her name’s Aerith? Clearly she’s not the real one. I am. I’m Aeris.”

The three of them stared at her. Then, Aerith stepped forward, her confidence reassured. “You just told us the truth. I know for a fact that I’m the real one. There’s never been an Aeris.”

“I’ve been here for a very long time, you idiot. I’ve probably been around here longer than you. Try disproving that your name is the wrong one…”

Aerith wasn’t listening to her. Sweat beaded on her brow as she desperately ran through countless ideas to disprove Aeris’ legitimacy. And the longer Aeris rambled, the harder it was for her to think. Her process wasn’t helped by the fact that the other two were now eying her like she was the suspicious one.

_We haven’t even been partners for very long and they’re doubting me? They’re trusting the one they haven’t interacted with at all? Am I really that unreliable? Or is my face that…untrustworthy?_ An urge to cry rose up in her, though she crushed it. _C’mon, what’s something I could say—wait, if she’s a clone…She probably doesn’t have the same memories as me…her earliest memories would be the giveaway._

“Tell me, Aeris—what was your earliest memory?”

“My…earliest memory?” She was quiet for a while, her expression blank. “I don’t have one.”

Now she had her.

“But how is that possible?” Donald said. “You’ve got nothin’ at all?”

Goofy raised a brow and started to scratch his head. “Yeah, everyone here is s’ahpossed to have memories…How’d ya end up without any?”

Her blankness fluctuated before it descended into existential horror. Like she was disappearing, she glanced at her own hands, stumbling backward, her terror only deepening as she started mumbling nonsense. “But if that’s true, how did I—no, that can’t be true, I can’t be the one that’s—no, no I do have memories—it’s just…I don’t remember where I…but how is that true if I’m…” She turned around and sunk to the ground on her knees, her hands clasping her head.

Aerith drew closer to Aeris, unsure of whether or not she should’ve reached out to her. Her heart had fallen out as she imagined herself reacting similarly if she found out she wasn’t the “original”. How frightening it was to learn that you were merely a lab creation, with a deceivingly human appearance yet disturbingly inhuman on the inside, only existing as someone’s science project, and nothing more than some sort of object or tool to further your creator’s ideations.

How much of you was developed naturally? How much of you—your identity, your personality, your very being—was manufactured, programmed by your creator? How many of your actions could be considered your own, and not something predetermined by someone else? While you thought you were a normal, thinking human being like everyone else, you were serving your lie, that lie that someone else decided for you, plotting every artificial aspect of your life, concerting every thought while you believed you had manifested them on your own volition. If everyone else had free will, and you didn’t, how human were you?

“Did you never have parents?” Aerith used a gentle tone, scared she’d make Aeris snap. She flinched when the other girl jerked her head toward her, that blank expression on her face once more. “Ah, don’t take it the wrong way—”

“Parents?” She looked away. “What are those?”

Aerith heard Donald and Goofy gasp behind her. “Oh, geez, um…they’re the people you’re born to, usually, but not always, ‘cause one of my friends, Cloud—she’s adopted…but they’re the people that are supposed to care for you and love and protect you, for a very long time ‘til you grow up…”

“I…don’t think I had parents. I can’t remember a whole lot before I got here…there’s bits and pieces…”

“Really? Like what? What is it that you _do_ remember?”

Aeris closed her eyes to think, and she was silent for a while. Right before she opened them again with a jolt, she furrowed her brow and pouted, like it was painful to use her head. “I remember…tubes. Being wet in a cold, dark place. I couldn’t walk or talk at all. There were more tubes surrounding me…I don’t know if there were others in them…There was a woman talking to me. She had…red eyes and silver hair—the most piercing eyes I’ve ever seen…Ah…” She held her head again, looking down at her feet. “I can’t—the more I try to remember the more it hurts, the more it gets away—what was she saying to me? What was her name? M…Master…Jen—ah!”

At that she doubled over, cringing and clenching her head, digging into her hair. She was trembling. Immediately, Aerith came to her side, alarmed.

“Woah, hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“I…I’m fine.” There was a strange tonal shift in her voice that disappeared after she finished speaking, but Aerith didn't say anything. And as quickly as the attack had manifested, it disappeared and Aeris looked at her with a similar—but not exact—blank expression. Something different was in her green eyes, almost like a glint of hurt. “I don’t think what I remember is normal.”

“Yeah, you got that right—”

“Donald!” Aerith said. Goofy shot him an annoyed look. “Don’t worry about him. I mean, this is a lot to process, for all of us, including you. I don’t fully understand what’s going on here either, like this Keyblade, how I even got here in the first place, or what happened to everyone I knew…I’m really just sticking around in the hopes I can go home with everyone. But it looks like you need help, too…”

She offered a hand for Aeris to get up with, smiling at her when she accepted it. “I’m going to get to the bottom of everything, no matter the cost. And I’ll make sure to figure out what’s up with you, too. You deserve to understand yourself.”

Aeris gave her a long, probing stare. Then, slowly, a small smile started working itself onto her face. She held Aerith’s hand harder. “I may not know everything…but I do know quite a bit about this world and your Keyblade. I think the information will be quite useful on your journey…and thanks for offering to help. If I can help you guys in any other way, I’ll do it, too.

Because I’ve been alone and afraid, too. Let’s go into the hotel. I’ll give you the rundown there, alright?”

Aerith nodded, and she motioned for her cohorts to go in the direction Aeris pointed to.

Admittedly, it was bizarre to conspire with her replica like this, but if it was meant for the greater good…

Aerith would do it.

She’d do anything to save her friends and her worlds.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is basically the written equivalent of that one spider man meme


End file.
